art memory made with /t. ...
click to view originalSOME OF THE BEST MEMORIES I NEVER HAD WERE MADE WITH YOU AND ME.....
Jack K. said...
Jack K.We were in the sports car ralley. I knew it would be a disastor. You just wouldn't let me drive. You know how much I hate to navigate. (What GPS system?)
Anyway, the instructions were not the clearest in the world:
1. Drive north of the start point 100 meters, turn left, stop at the stop sign and turn North (right).
2. Continue on for 34.62 miles and turn West (left). Hint: look for the dilapidated barn.
3. Continue on for 14.9 miles and turn South (left). Hint: look for the Mail Pouch advertisement on the barn.
4. Continue on for 47.01 miles and turn East (left). Hint: it is a tee intersection.
5. Continue on for 19.13 miles to the finish line. Hint: It will be your favorite restaurant. They will be having a blue plate special you cannot resist.
Well, we made it in spite of your inability or refusal to listen to directions. I was sure I made them clear to you. @$!@#
The blue plate special was wonderful. The wine was excellent. We were spectacular when we made our first place acceptance speeches. Who knew they would give trophies for navigators too. What! You knew!
It was a day to remember. Next time you get to navigate. I do so want to drive your Ferrari.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 4:50:58 PM
velvet acid tongue said...
http://www.blogger.com/profile/22074137Velvetwe were in seedy bus depot, in some little town called red jacket. on the way to visiting my folks for the holiday. on our last (collective) $20. remember?
we decided that the most effective use of those last $20 was to throw some coins in the photomat and then spend the rest on weed some dude was selling just outside the depot's fromt doors. remember?
that was the same bus ride that we filled up our orange juice bottles with a 50/50 mixture of vodka and OJ. you surely must remember missing that last step, getting off the bus in from of my waiting father? and landing on your face?
now do you remember? oh, my dear. it was so long ago. but i recall it as if it were yesterday.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 6:42:39 PM
X. Dell said...
X DellTo this day, I still can't forgive you. A simple job. Shouldn't have taken no more that thirty minutes. I know, you like your work. Sometimes a little too much. That was one of those times.
Look, Vanille, I didn't mind how you serviced the target. She's cute. I might have been tempted to taken her into a photo booth too.
But at least I would have made sure that I had the microfilm first.
Yeah, I know you got it. Scewed her out of it is more like it. But you took way too much time. If you'd have gotten it when she first dropped trou, you'd have had her screaming and sleeping in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes. Then you could have slipped it to me like a normal person.
But you waited until the last second, while she was in the shower. It's not effective to take it from her wallet then leave without so much as a note. You gotta let 'em down gently, so they don't get suspicious right away, like this one did.
Yeah, I know. You got me the film. But you had to swallow it to hide it from the strip search. I'd already checked out of my hotel. And now I have to wait another 24 hours for you to pass this thing?
You know there were smudges all over that microfilm, don't you? The Boys in Washington were not pleased with me.
I told 'em that you're just a kid. You're gonna make rookie mistakes.
I'm glad I convinced them to keep you on at the Agency. You've become a real asset in more ways than one. Now that I'm retiring, I know you'll do good and train your next partner as well as I trained you. Maybe even better. I ain't got no patience.
Thursday, August 03, 2006 12:36:07 AM
Mr Q said...
Mr.QAfter we checked out of rehab, you were a bit more "sensitive", everything seemed to irritate you. Like that waitress at the IHOP, she was just trying to refill your coffee, but you had to grab the collar of her shirt and scream at her face, I thought they would call the police on us!. Next time, we are not walking out of there without paying the bill, we are not living in those days anymore sweetheart. I will come back later this week to return the 3 kt. princess cut diamond ring that you custom made for me at Jacob's the Jew-erler, in NY, back in 78'. Unti then, stay clean, like me.
Thursday, August 03, 2006 8:00:43 AM
Pete Bogs said...
Bogs"I met Contessimal during college, where we shared a painting class. For me it was just an elective, but for her, an art major, it was required. She didn’t seem to mind the requirement, though, because she was very good at painting. We chit-chatted a lot during class. Mainly, it was me asking for her guidance on whatever assignment we were working on. Contessimal didn’t seem to mind. She was very patient with me, and kind, too, complimenting my work when it was clearly inferior to her own. My most amusing memory from the class is whispering something to Contessimal and making her blush during the “life drawing” sessions! As was typical in college, at the end of the semester casual relationships also ended. I think I saw Contessimal walking across campus one time after that semester, but we never again had a class together. I still wonder what she’s up to these days."
Thursday, August 03, 2006 3:58:11 PM
Percival said...
PercivalUh... I looked quite girlish in my student days and we became fast friends?
Friday, August 04, 2006 6:58:38 AM
Mayden's Voyage said...
CoraI was upset with you earlier in the day. You had thrown a big spoonful of pudding at me during lunch to get even with me over some guy we both liked- and while he had left you a note in your locker, he had kissed me just as you came around the corner.
The pudding hit my chin/neck and slid down into my shirt. I guess the look on my face must have been priceless because you fell to the floor laughing- shrieking about me having "chocolate boobs"!
I was furious, but I had pudding to scoop out- so I ran to the bathroom in the cafeteria.
Stained, damp, and slightly sticky I counted the hours until I could get home- shower and change. As I was getting out of the shower my mom came to my room and said, "Fini (that's what mom called you) just phoned- she'll be here in 10 minutes."
We had always been friends, but as all good relationships- it was passionate some days, and reasonable on others. This was not going to be a reasonable day.
I threw on some old clothes and went outside. I hid at the corner of the house where you wouldn't be able to see me. I turned on the hose- held the sprayer- and waited...patiently.
You drove up and parked in the usual spot, which meant you would have to walk past the corner of the house-
When you got within 10 feet of me, I jumped out and hosed you down! Head to toe! "Now look whose laughing you crazy chick!!!"
I chased you until I ran out of hose- you snuck around the house, caught me off guard- and threw me to the ground...
But by now we were both laughing so hard, and we were both totally wet, muddy and covered in grass clippings! We both needed a shower~
90 minutes later we were clean, dressed, and went to the mall.
Upon spotting the picture booth we decided to jump in and mark the occasion. For grins- I gave you the kiss that had been given to me earlier in the day- and it was then we both realized that the dude wasn't worth our friendship.
Dudes rarely are~
He's long gone, but I've still got you...
:)
Friday, August 04, 2006 8:48:54 PM
ardlair said...
ArdlairI knew it would be a risky crossing, it always was at that point in the jungle, at that time of day, but hell, I had to go.
I usually only venture out at night, but one of my snail buddies, Horace, had got sick, and I need to get to him quick. His shell had cracked - these things sometimes just happen - and everyone in snailland knew I, Ardsnail, was the best cracked snailshellmender in those parts.
So off I went....
All was OK in the undergrowth.
But then I came to The Path.
We snails only ever cross The Path at night. Too much traffic by day.
You are exposed.
Things that might eat you.
Flying things, walking things.
Shit, things that might stand on you.
In the Big Rains of '23, snail legend has it that Simon Brave but Slow led 456 of my ancestors over that path to safety from the rising water, which was near on half an inch high..........and none, not-one of them was lost.
But he was a great visionary snail.
And since then...well many have been lost on that very path.
Eaten, crushed, just plain lost.
At a full yard wide, the crossing takes a fully grown snail almost half a day.
Half a day of naked torment.
But I had to go.
In daylight.
For the sake of Horace.
First few hours were fine.
I heard a bird flap but it must have failed to see me.
I hurried on.
Then I heard it.
A steady thump.
I felt the ground beneath me vibrate, slowly, rhythmically.
I felt my snail trail thickening, smoothening, sliding.
At other times I might have got a little bit horny, but shit this was serious.
Then a weird screeching sound.
Then I saw it.
An elephant.
Coming down the path.
I'd heard about them, but never seen one.
Shit, it was massive.
It came closer and closer.
I hurried, but shit, I was on a loser.
Each of it's feet was about half a yard wide.
It had four of them.
I reckoned my chances were about 80:20.
Against.
I thought of my loved ones at home.
The shadow of one foot covered me, I sensed it coming closer, I braced, but knew deep down that my shell would count for nought.......................
Then ........ a voice, an elephant voice....
"Young Contessa, will you get back up here with the rest of us!"
Shit, she was only a little un'!
How big were the big uns??
But her falling foot suddenly swung.
Missed me by an inch.
Her whole body turned.
She was gonna head back up the path!!!
Thank the great snailgod in the sky!!
I pledged to renounce my atheism!!
Thanks that she was an obedient liitle elephant and her mamma was so strict with her!!
I was saved!
She paused before heading back.
Another strange hissing, staccatto sound.
I saw it too late.
Then I smelt it.
I was under fire.
Great clods of shit, each one bigger than ten of my buddies in a huddle, were raining down on me.
Shit, I was up to my neck in it.
But, as Simon Brave but Slow would have said himself
"Better shat on than stood on."
But neither ever happened to him.
Thats the problem with leaders, ain't it.
So I cleaned up...over the next few days....and finally crossed the path in safety.
Forever grateful to Contessa the obedient, but careless pooping, elephant.
And Horace?
Well, the bastard went and died before I even got there.
Saturday, August 05, 2006 12:20:40 PM
ruff rough 3:38 pm
K9 puppy/bark bark bark
vanille, remember when we were only pups? we had a
great little two man scam. you'd distract the
bartender at the pool bar with your long legs and
green eyes and i'd slip in behind him and snatch a
bottle of cazadores and a few limes and we'd go out to
the lounges and do shots and laugh...and when your
head started to hurt, and my fur got too hot, we'd
dive into the cool pool and restore ourselves. and
we'd play marco polo all afternoon. and when you were
tired you'd wrap up in a big beach towel and fall
asleep in the orangey sunset light while i worked a
bone from the leftover meal you doggie bagged from
your date the night before. that was before you went
back to school and i ended up in the pen in a case of
mistaken identity. everyday behind the chainlink i
would escape to that cool pool forever in my memory
until the great rottie in the sky called me home. but
i still see you -through the eyes of a vizla or a hurt
pup or a dog you didnt know but still shared your date
night meal with. no ottoman could ever compare to you
however plush she may be!
/grrrrrrrrrrr
