Rotating Chaos

There is stillness, there is chaos, and there is a chaos that rotates as well, within this chaos, there is stillness. Grab the stillness when you can and sit with it, when you see the chaos coming, put your best foot forward. When it begins to rotate, be prepared to surf it back to the stillness

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Chaos Blooms for new friends and old


  • My Other Blog
  • A Vanilla flower for the Vanilla Bitch.... Thanks Ardlair!

    Here are some flower faces of people that I have not ever seen. I know them better now because of their flowers, which they picked themselves. Some of them I picked out for you, because I thought you deserved a flower today.


    This is my current favorite...Bleeding Hearts


  • barbara
  • Gerbera Daisy

  • Bogs
  • Carnation

  • Ardlair
  • Rare Red Trillium

  • Gone Native
  • I dunno what these are, but I do like them!

  • doc. t
  • The Lotus
  • WCH




  • K9
  • Sunflower

  • Auntie Belle
  • Magnolia Buds

  • Ben
  • Hibiscus

  • Mr.Q

  • Prism

  • Cassandra

  • Zya


  • Freya
  • Calla Lilly
  • Bird


  • BlueBolt
  • Japanese Purple Iris

  • SnoBro
  • Dogwood bloom

    Adam and a couple others have flowers to come. But my bouquet is full for the day

    My Day at Work. 2-24-06


    I worked at the teen center after working out (which was GREAT btw)
    I was there from 4-11 cooking and cleaning and joking around with the kids, some of which I was meeting for the first time. I mostly ran the kitchen and served sloppy joes and hot-dogs.

    The big joke was to accuse white people of calling the black kids N****rs. The kids only pulled that joke on the white adults that they liked. So it was pulled on me numerous times.

    "Wait, what did you say?"

    "I said you are busted" (or anything I would say)

    "OOOooooooo, Y'all just heard? She just called me a N****r..."

    "No I didn't."

    "Yes you did, you called me a little N****r....I heard you, she did ya'll, she said it, just admit it, you a racist."

    I don't know if you get it or not, probably you do, but that was trial by fire. If you can roll with it, you cool baby.

    They agreed I was a snowball, a reverse oreo, and then H.... proceeded to follow me around trying to scare me. I got him back though, even though he would not admit i scared him by sneaking up on him.

    The DJ
    was a very loud DJ who could have used some deodorant FO' SHo'!

    B..... asked me if I had a lighter, which I did, because I sometimes smoke (usually around finals) I asked her what was wrong after her smoke. B.... and A.... are white and I have never met them before tonight. Turns out they were best friends and fighting.

    In the middle of having a moment where I said to myself, "Oh here we go with the teen girlie drama... I should make an excuse and cut out", a voice (inside) said: oh no, plant it, zip it, and listen....

    There was such a need to talk in her eyes, I patiently let the story unfold. Both girls are 16, both have slept with the same man, who got them drunk, who is 37.
    OK breathe, "now what?" you think as she continues to tell you that A.... has contracted clahmydia from, and is beat regularly by him and such.

    "OK" I breathe: someone needs to call the police...what is his name?
    I ask.

    "T"

    Great,

    A.... is pissed at us both now for getting into her business

    Then J., my supervisor walks through, I get her attention and she becomes involved.
    I am asked to run interference on fighting boys.
    They are settled by the time I get there.

    Earlier B..... the 6 year old and youngest of four spilled the beans that there was another child coming.
    J...., the program director is her mom.

    The dancing was impressive for kids, nice moves. The talent show was good, not enough presenters, a girl singing group, and a dance group and two spoken words. Three prizes 100, 25, and 20 bucks. The singers lost out because their harmony did not take the stge.

    The fighting boys left at eleven at eleven-ten PM an arab b-boy shows up with C..... (staff) and half of his face busted open. He was simply walking down the street.

    "It was the light skinted boy with all them bumps on his face that did it, then he got into a van" says one of the 13 year olds as we drove them home at 11:15

    "I am gonna be so Dougie for the party in March." she says
    "Do you know what that mean?"

    "Fresh" we both say together and I say: "Dougie Fresh"
    she said "Naw... it don't mean that."

    "OMG!!" I say, "him and Slick Rick began the hip hop thing."

    "How you know?" she ask

    "Because I used to sing it on the street corner waiting for the school bus when I was like... your age."

    "Prove it." she asks

    And so I get the van rolling with the flawless first half of the original La Di Da Di.

    I worked a bit too hard, and now I have a migraine.

    Friday, February 24, 2006

    What Song Should You Strip To?

    YEP, SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT....

    Your Stripper Song Is

    I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears

    "I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it.
    I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it."

    You may seem shy, but you can let your wild side out when you want to!

    Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    My List Of FOURs




    Thanks to
  • Sameyl
  • I have a new list of four:
  • Freya
  • , I am going to post Chaos Blooms soon, it is a lot of work!!

    So, here we go:

    4 things/people that make me smile:

    1. Children, esp. ones with autism
    2. Animals, because they love me
    3. anything sparkley
    4. Music with a beat and bass

    4 ways to win my heart:

    1. Kindness in the eyes
    2. Compassion to all living beings
    3. Intelligence
    4. Impeccable Hygiene

    4 things I believe in:

    1. Bigfoot
    2. Loch Ness Monster (nessie)
    3. Free Will
    4. Love

    4 Things I am afraid of:

    1. Sharks in the deep end of the pool
    2. A blade through the sole of my foot while I sleep (weird, right?)
    3. Societies
    4. My own potential

    4 Things I do every day:

    1. Consume sugar
    2. Check my email
    3. Hope for the best
    4. Smile (at least once)

    4 things/people I want to see right now:

    I want to see Italy
    I want to see Ireland
    I want to see Israel
    I want to see all the people that I love

    4 people I want to see do this list of fours:

    1.
  • Mr. Q

  • 2.
  • Freya

  • 3.
  • Swllowed Alive

  • 4.
  • Ben


  • Plus 5.
  • Whispering Wandering Blue Malva Graffitti Nymph Artist (find her here) Who cannot be found in just one moment in any one place.


  • I also would like to see Dave do his list of four....

    Now I have to do my homework.

    Sunday, February 19, 2006

    CANCER




    You will have to forgive me Dave, for the choppyness of this post. I have a baby migraine headache and it is trying to spread its wings....

    My friend Alice is the one who recommended the book Pigs in the Parlor to me. She even bought me a copy, and I paid her back. Alice is about 60 years old, but I cannot really see her age... she is a great friend. She was born deaf, and was terribly abused as she was also mute.

    She was almost killed in a critical horseback accident when she was a young child, she was kicked out of school for being unable to answer in class. She fought and graduated college top of the class.

    She was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few years ago Dave, and the doctors basically told her goodbye. They said to live her last three months with her husband and not on the chemotherapy.

    She said she really found God then.

    Yes, Alice speaks. She found her voice, and began to hear around the time she graduated college. She was invited to a meeting of like minded people. She was happy to attend as she was intending on committing suicide that very night, but, she thought, "I will go to the beach and meet some new people and kill myself Sunday night instead of Friday."

    Well, those people were having a spiritual meeting, and Alice met the Lord there and she liked him. She began to talk about what she was seeing, and feeling, and instead of the new friends laughing at her speech which sounded like garbled crap, they were understanding her. She was sure this was an attempt to make fun of her. But the girl who invited her, convinced young Alice (20) to continue speaking. Alice discovered that she did not have to read lips anymore because she could hear as well as speak.

    She said she cried that day. She witnessed a miracle in her life.

    Alice went on to become a counselor and therapist. She can hear most sounds and speaks with just the slightest speech impediment of the Deaf. She said she wandered around, in spirit, until the diagnosis.

    She went through all kinds of emotion, fear, blame, panic, depression.
    And then she said that she began to pray.
    That was three years ago. She has not had any chemo, and she survived and overcame pervasive cancer.

    So, that is where the reference to the book comes from Dave.

    Now, onto the cure.

    OK
    Well, My mother, she is a Doctor. She also had cancer three times... Actually I am never sure how many times because, the first time I ever heard of it, she called me up the day before Thanksgiving to tell me that she was in town, and that she had just had breast cancer removed and was too weak to do the Thanksgiving shopping directly after, could she rest on my sofa for the night?

    When the cancer came back, she tried something else.

    Her husband's first wife had died of cancer several years ago, and he was pretty adamant that she try this clear liquid that he had heard of.
    Since it was just water, she agreed.
    It is water that has been engineered to mix with the water in your cells, and the molecules spin in opposite directions. This produces an effect of soap in a washing machine. Each cell is washed clean. The cancer is flushed out.
    You MUST drink copious amounts of water with this cure.

    Well, my Mom thought it was snake oil, a scam, but she wanted to make her new husband feel better, so she listened.

    She took seven drops in water for seven days.
    When she went back to the hospital to have a new X RAY.... The cancer was gone. They had an X Ray of cancer as well as a biopsy of cancer from the same day of the XRAY. Now, 7 days later, it was gone.

    Please understand, my Mom is strict, she cut out all sugar and ate very well during the 7 days and for months after.

    When it came back late last year, she began the Miracle cure (that is what it is called: Miracle Neutralizer) she took the neutralizer for another few days and her levels dropped from 600 to 60 in ten days. (anything over 100 I am told, is cancer)

    So there is that. I will link to the Miracle cure later in the post.

    But what is Cancer?

    I like to back up theory with facts, I am not sure I can here, so I will just pontificate for a minute first.
    My understanding of cancer is that it is a disease an absence of ease.
    Lets look at that for a minute because I think that is critical. An absence of ease in mind and spirit. A level of panic and trauma that prevails over time, I think that this is the definition of stress and stress is the number one contributing factor to disease.
  • Stress Causes Cancer (APA study)


  • Bridging stress and tumors

    "Meanwhile, Emory's Weiss is building the case for another connection between stress, the immune system and tumor development.

    Recently he's found evidence that b-lymphocytes--the type of white blood cell that produces antibodies--are involved in fighting tumor cells in the lungs of rats (Cancer Research, Vol. 99, p. 1080_1089). This finding is exciting because b-lymphocytes are the immune cells that are most influenced by stress, says Weiss.

    "We might now have a bridge linking stress to the tumor process," he says. Now that he's found the connection between b-cells and cancer, he can test whether stress influences that relationship.
    And while researchers such as Baum are looking at the immune system as a mechanism, they are also examining other options. He and his colleagues are replicating a 1985 study by psychologist Janet Keicolt-Glaser, PhD, and her husband, virologist Ron Glaser, PhD, which found that stress impedes cells' ability to repair DNA damage. Failure to repair DNA damage is one of the first stages of cancer development, many theories say."

    Then, there seems to be an even bigger link to toxins and the direct development of cancer:
  • food and cancer (raw food.com)


  • "Everyone knows that cooking food reduces its nutrition. But did you ever stop and wonder happens to those lovely vitamins, minerals, fats, carbs and proteins once they’re cooked? Where do they go? Do they just disappear?

    Unfortunately, they do not. Like Dr. Jekyl, they are horribly transformed by chemical reactions into nasty killers like Mr. Hyde...only we call them Mr. Carcinogen, Mr. Mutagen, and that arch-villain of all time, Mr. Free Radical!

    Learn scientifically how heat actually chemically re-combines molecules that were once life-givers into dangerous killers like Mr. Hyde"

  • the science of the raw food slant



  • "Maximize your well-being and strengthen your immune system by consuming an abundance of unfired raw fresh produce at each meal.
    Heat destroys nutrients, wholesale. Not only are heated nutrients unavailable to your body, the heated food debris becomes TOXIC which overwhelms your immune system.
    Stop saturating your body with toxins and undermining your immune system. Avoid an abundance of cooked food and junk food.
    If you cook, heat food conservatively. The lower the heat for the shortest duration, the better.
    Use transitional recipes, proper food combining, and organic food sources to achieve at least an 85% raw food diet."

    So, we need to chill out, and eat more carrotstix and lettuce and such.... right, now for the Miracle, which is actually the roundabout reason of this post. I promised some valuable info, and here it is:

    MIRACLE II (NOT Miracle 2 OR Miracle water)

    --THE LIVING CELL IS A MINIATURE COLD FUSION NUCLEAR REACTOR CAPABLE OF ELEMENTAL Transformations THAT NET EXCESS ENERGY BACK TO THE LIVING SYSTEM! ONLY GOD COULD HAVE ENGINEERED THIS AND ONLY GOD CAN IMPROVE ON IT!


  • Testimonials


  • Miracle II Cancer Cure Testimonials



  • Thursday, May 08, 2003
    An MD tells of his miraculous healing from prostate and colon cancer!
    Pat Berg shares

    Dear Tim-

    I would like to bring you up to date on some of the blessings which I have received since I last talked to you. First and probably most significant is the diagnosis of prostate cancer followed a few months later by colon cancer.

    As you might suppose, I was totally devastated by the news and was truly convinced by my MD's that I probably would not live a year. I chose NOT TO FOLLOW the usual cancer path of surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. I turned instead to the FACT that the human body is infinitely capable of healing itself.

    I began an INTENSIVE program of spiritual contact and regrowth. I added all the other methods which I have been using in my own lectures to the students that I teach at Florida College of Natural Health. I was then introduced to the Miracle II products, by a mutual friend of ours, Richard Powell. I began bathing every other day and brushing my teeth with cleanser and gel every day, swallowing the foamy stuff. Rinse it down with 24 oz. of pure water. During the day I used 1 oz of Miracle II neutralizer every 4-6 hours depending on the level of discomfort "heartburn" that I was experiencing. By the way Miracle II neutralizer works well for GERD, acid indigestion, heartburn and other "stomach" upsets. The outcome of this NATURAL and Miraculous course of treatment is truly a MIRACLE TOO.

    In the past month or so I had a series of blood tests done to find out how far the cancer had spread and whether it had metastasized, "spread" to my liver, bones or brain. CT and bone scans were also performed. The results were nothing less than a MIRACLE, in the eyes of medical science. My blood tests came back perfectly normal, in fact the test included a computer analysis designed to predict cancer in patients. The computer said that I had a very slight chance of ever developing cancer, even though Sloan-Kettering Cancer Institute and Johns Hopkins Pathology Department, both, had previously confirmed the cancer diagnosis.

    Let me say that this has been and will be a constant effort to use all the methods of environmental detoxification, exercise, neutraceuticals and phytochemicals which I have learned in my nearly 40 years of medical practice, spiritual and natural healing. Miracle II is one of the aspects of an overall process of healing and wellness which I include, as my gift to GOD, in the lectures, and private consultations which I give to people concerned with any health or wellness concern.

    I am available for private consultation and will also work with large lecture groups to help them realize how very important our health is. NEWS is a Natural Energy Wellness System which I developed a few years ago and Miracle II is an integral part of that system. I founded International Metaphysical University "IMU" to be able to educate people and promote spiritual growth in the healing field. I also developed the University Research Institute, or "URI." The combination of IMU & URI is working daily to compile data and educate the people about methods of Environmental Detoxification, Anti-aging, and Rejuvenation. I hope that we will ALL be able to realize the miracle that our life is and that fact that it is our duty to God and our spirit to work to take care of this miraculous creation.

    Sincerely and Miraculously

    Phillip L. Parker, MD, Graduate of University of Michigan, School of Medicine, founder IMU-URI, Instructor Florida College of Natural Health, Advisory Board FCNH, Advisory Board Everglades College, "emeritus" Chief of Anesthesia at Holland and Zeeland Community Hospitals.


    "Miracle II Neutralizer – Is a tasteless, clear, high-energy liquid that may be taken internally. It is designed to neutraliznegativeve energy wherever it is found in the body, including toxins, bacteria, virus, etc.

    Mirace II Moisturizing Soap – Is a non-toxic, high-energy, liquid soap with many of the neutralizing qualities of the Neutralizer. It also contains many high-quality oils that leave the body silky smooth. It makes excellent as a shampoo, in the shower or anywhere soap or detergent is used."

  • Call him crazy, but the shit really works.

  • Audio Testimony


  • This Nature's Miracle for the total body has a pH balancing formula all with natural minerals.
    Miracle II believes in keeping things simple and pure but don’t let the water like clearness of this God designed liquid fool you – it’s jam packed with the amazing minerals and organics that Miracle II customers come back for time and time again and it’s pH balanced for the entire body!

  • Order the Neutralizer



  • So Dave, it is 10PM here, I wanted to tell you that the soap and neutralizer are 17 bucks each. You need at least seven drops a day of the neutralizer and they suggest you bathe with the soap to treat cancer especially.

    The bottles are about 22 oz. So one bottle will last for a long time. The soap is ultra concentrated.
    It saved my life too.

    One of the main reasons that it works is this:
    It somehow produces an alkaline environment in the body.environmentornment produces disease. Cancer needs aenvironmentornment to grow, if the body is alkaline, the cancer will shrink. The Neutralizer neutralizes acid on a cellular level. I do not know if you catch what i am saying here, it is so simple that it is brilliant.

    I am begging you to try it.
    It will not hurt you.
    It will make you thirsty.
    It could give you some hope here.
    That would make me happy. Will you give it a shot please?

    Please let me know your thoughts.


  • Please click here to learn more about PH (Acid/Alkaline) and cancer



  • Order the Neutralizer
  • Wednesday, February 15, 2006

    DUSK



    FOLKS, THIS IS THE BEST I COULD DO, I AM WORKING ON A POST IN MY HEAD, BUT NEED TO ASK:

    WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER??

    IN THE MEANTIME, ENJOY THE VIEW FROM MY BACK PORCH AT DUSK.

    LOVE YA!

    Monday, February 06, 2006

    Quotes referred by a friend




    I have a friend who issues quotes with every email.
    She is also Muslim.
    She is a peaceful soul, and a kind person.

    I want to share them with you....


    "Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."
    ~Albert Schweitzer~

    "Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier."
    ~Albert Schweitzer~


    "To be able under all circumstances to practice five things constitutes perfect virtue; these five things are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness and kindness."
    ~Confucius~


    "Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity."
    ~Albert Schweitzer~


    "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for."
    ~Epicurus~


    "You can hold yourself back from the sufferings of the world, that is something you are free to do and it accords with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering you could avoid."
    ~Franz Kafka~

    Those who say it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person doing it"
    --Chinese Proverb--

    "To see further, stand higher"
    --Chinese Proverb--

    Sunday, February 05, 2006

    If we were flowers, who would know?


    OK so I am sitting here in front of my computer, naked....can you tell? I am naked in my thoughts. Here they come.

    I find myself thinking of days before I was born and comparing them to the present. I was thinking about how casual communication has changed.

    A woman walks to the neighbors house, sits on the porch, and jaws the fat with the woman next door.
    A woman sends her son next door to deliver a message.
    A person calls a friend to connect.
    We start using the email more and more heavily.
    We "chat" online to protect our identities and phone numbers.

    Almost everybody I know here is anonymous. We are moving to anonymous communication.

    Does it feel safer? I could be sitting here naked, you would never know. Likewise, I could be unkempt and smelly, you would never know. I have the shield of anonymous beauty...The computer screen.

    GOD I am so addicted to it too. I am usually addicted to anything good for about a month, then I start to recognize the signs of addiction, and move on to healthier pursuits. But this addiction is hard to shake.

    We all can relate to the feeling of wanting to check the mail to see if a new comment rolled in, and to check in with good friends in blogville. I wonder why we are all so lonely? I mean this in a general way. Like you would rather read this than speak with your neighbor for 15 minutes. Lonely for solitary gratification? I want to be alone, and interacting.

    Is it because we build up images of who one may be on the other end of the emails or the blogpage, or Instant Message? We just get so caught up in character maybe that we expect only our image and do not want to be let down, and more importantly, to let the other person down.

    I think that this is it. It is fear and insecurity. I strike out against fear, and being confidant gets you further in life than being timid does.

    I wish you all could know how much I like you. I enjoy the interaction, the communication, pontifications, elaborations and I wish I could see all y'all's gesticulations (was that a double contraction?) But only three or four feel like commenting to me. I wish everyone who reads would just say hello. I do not bite, and I really am lonely, as I have learned from the happy feeling I get thinking about checking my email in the morning. I get this feeling, and want to go do it before I have my morning reflections.

    I wish you would connect. I wish we did not have the shield of technology between us, but in the same respect, without it, we never would have met.

    I ask you all to consider that each of us is a flower. Together we are a bouquet. If we are flowers, how do we know? How do we experience the shades of color, the frailty of scent and the differences in petals? I can tell you what a beautiful bouquet we are, but I wish we could all experience the knowing in our senses, and not just our minds.

    This week, please find a new connection each day. Say hello to new people. Compliment a pretty girl. Tell a nice man that he is a nice man. Walk an old lady across a street. Be humans in the world as you came into this world, with five senses alive.

    I sit in my upper flat and it is cold outside. I just went to Walmart for some unbeatable deals on sale priced organizational units. My desk is both cluttered and neat. I have a thin laptop on it and the odd glass, pencil post-it and Barbaras bunny graham crackers.

    Ladysmith Black Mambazo is playing on the CD player. There is a cat named Mouse hopping around from bin to bin on the hardwood floor. I did not rinse all the conditioner from my hair so the room smells like flowers, AVEDA's Shampure.
    If you were looking at the back of my head you would see that a massive cowlick is forming on the right side it is a line, not a circle, and it feels weird. I never used to have one. No matter, I have more hair on my head than 3 normal people, you would never notice it if I did not point it out.

    Now there is Indian style trip hop coming out the speakers. The sharkfish in the fishtank like it I think. I need to set up the stereo that my Dad gave for Xmas yet...shhhh, do not tell him, it is still in the box to my right.
    My kitchen table is half covered with paints of various shades and hues.

    I am tired I am so hoping to have touched some people and to have inspired you to make some connections in real time this week. You are all wonderful people. I like you.


    I am really really tired. Goodnight, hope to hear from you soon...

    Thursday, February 02, 2006

    Hi, I been drinking


    When the World was without such things as diamonds or oil.
    when it was new, pristine, and unspoiled.

    When the water receeded, and gave way to the land
    when beaches were formed, and began to birth sand.

    When birds started to fly, and sing in the air
    when people were naked, and nobody cared.

    When streets were created, as pathways to banks
    when rulers made houses and sat in the ranks.

    When land was discovered and the big rush gave way
    when leaders took measures to mean what they say.

    When printing began and the new age was born
    when lies were a scandal, and liars were scorned.

    When books became boring and TV on the rise
    when citizens relaxed, and then closed their eyes.

    When video games became violent
    and the army used them to recruit.

    When the anchor began to pander
    and the media followed suit.

    When the votes were not counted
    and the apathy mounted.

    When the boys went to war
    to settle the score.

    When the moment comes
    and the new guy runs.

    Give him a buck
    and wish him luck.

    Wednesday, February 01, 2006

    Who I Am



    I am Pink.
    Pink like cherry blossoms in Japan
    loitering in streets with their sweetness
    and strolling away with the morning breeze.

    Pink
    Sunset Beaches hemming in subtle pebbles
    soft like the skin of new scars
    skies mix together the color that is me.

    It cannot be simulated.
    Only orchestrated

    color of orange yellow and red written by sun and approved by moon
    clouds reflect sunlit precious metal
    as no wedding band could hope to hold
    A solid steel glowing pink
    hot, awake, alive color
    that smoothes over sands and stones
    and summarily accounts for the day.

    Hazing faces and softening glances
    Pink presents herself willingly
    accepts her mission.
    SHE is feminine.

    So pink that peaches blush
    and no paintbrush can touch
    the color
    that I am.